Apparently this is a very heated issue and I want to be sure I can be clear when I say I don’t side with either party in this issue and not because of the topic in debate (same sex marriage). However, after reading the article (Miss California: I stand by gay marriage remark) watching the interview video with Miss California, Carrie Prejean, (Video) what I find appalling is the actions of Perez Hilton who was unable to control his personal feelings. He was a “judge” of the contest a person who is “one appointed to decide in a contest or competition.” A judge is someone who is known “to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises.”

From what I understand of the constitution this is the “land of the free.” What I didn’t understand is how we implement this today by saying, “land of the free on the clause that you don’t actually try to take a leadership role.” The question he asked was “how do YOU feel about same sex marriage.” I can see the debate already unfolding that she should have taken this question, due to the fact she was running as Miss America, to mean “how should AMERICA handle same sex marriage.” Not sticking on that point the initial question was answered correctly. She said what SHE thought about same sex marriage. I would give her the crown just for that because at least I know where she stands!

Let’s face it, this is an epidemic that has been sweeping the United States for years. We are scared to take a stance because it might be politically incorrect. Even as I am writing this blog post I am, to an extend, choosing my words carefully. Why? Why don’t I have the courage to come out and say what I mean? There is a list of reasons. However, none of them have to do with how people actually view me. It is more the repercussions, such as the ones of Miss California, that keep me from being more vocal. How can we, in good conscience, say that we have freedom of speech and are the land of the free when we can be chastised for speaking our minds.

I see a debate in that, how far is too far when speaking ones mind? That is a great point to bring up. I do not want to start going down that path now, it would be a novel. What I will say is that how she spoke her mind on this issue was not too far. Her commitment to the answer was valid, true and honest to who she was and how she felt. To be honest, it was much less than his. This was made most true after he felt valid in calling her a “bitch” and continuing to demean her to the public and bias his judgment on his personal feelings.

If he accurately represents America compared to her I believe we are at a low. We should reconsider what we are becoming and how we are acting when people that have done no wrong on the issue are being judged as criminals. I would say this is a “Tipping Point.” If there is no correction for how to handle these situations without punishing (and I not saying either party should be punished) the innocent for their grounds of belief when it doesn’t negatively impact society (another relative definition), we will be lost. I believe we will see the fall of another empire that, at one time, brought forward growth in humanity…

A question that has no real answer, a question that has been asked before, a question that might have meaning when staring down the barrel of a gun called time.

What is success?

Three simple words that I have heard uttered lately. A lot of people I talk to are starting to question their goals in life and what makes them happy. Some of the happiest people I know have some of the least lofty goals. This seems to be a paradox that arises quite often. A reoccurring statement on that theme is that “money doesn’t buy happiness.” Without debating the fundamentals I will both side with that statement and against it.

First, if you are unhappy with life and what you are required to do then the statement is quite accurate. If you are required to do things to earn the vast sums of money that will make you happy which you despise, I am sure it won’t make you happy. However, if you are not required to lower yourself in order to make the monies that will enrich your life then, quite possibly, money could buy you happiness. I think the debate is on the definition of buy.

I agree, there is no way to buy (obtain by purchase; acquire by means of a financial transaction) happiness. However, there are things that can be paid for in order to gain peace of mind. Simple things that we all worry about day in and out like food or rent or car payments or vacations. Not having the need to stress over such common day items like this, I believe, would tend to help anyone’s happiness out.

But what if you have no such worldly needs? To keep this short of a book I will make a statement, move out of your parent’s house and transfer all bills, titles, insurances, healthcare, mortgages, credit cards and such into your name. Once you have done that, moved several hundred miles away (can no longer make a visit for free food) and miss your parents asking the question, “How have you been?” Let us readdress that simple statement then.

To the question, though, is this success? It seems the more money you make the more worries you acquire. Your tax bills loom, your work stress increases, your personal time decreases and you start sacrificing your values. Well, maybe not you directly but someone else. The guy you work with, maybe your boss or your boss’s boss. How about the director of you department or division?

I was once told, “don’t worry about the money. It will come with time. What is most important is to keep true to yourself and your beliefs. When you follow your passion and become apart of it then you will find happiness.” This almost sounds like a Haiku:
            Passion brings success
            Self belief, trust, confidence
            Fortunes will follow

The irony, you ask? I learned this lesson from a Japanese man that gave me a vast amount of knowledge.

A problem, I see currently, is that you need to set yourself apart from others if you set the bar high for yourself. So, what is wrong with that? Adding another famous statement, “every thing in moderation my dear.” Going back a good twenty years or more, from my understanding, there wasn’t such a high level of competition for the top roles. People felt successful with having a family, putting food on the table and taking life as it came. Today people have project plans for there life. I have been asked several times, “where do you see yourself in the next five years?”

Five years? I don’t know where I seem myself at the end of this year! I know that I would like to regain some, not much, peace and stability I had in my life once (for a brief moment). Past that, I really am not concerned. I have more pressing needs I have to follow right now.

Is having a project plan with tasks and milestones good? Does completing your tasks, reaching your milestones and making your goals bring you closer to success? I believe, however incorrect and debatable the statement, that higher education (universities and Six Sigma (not picking on the system of practices) certifications and others) is making us believe that things can happen in a straight path that we set out to follow. Our set backs in today’s world is our favorite pet has a problem or a close relative has passed away or we are looking for another job while collecting unemployment.

I am not belittling any of those issues; I am merely performing a contrast. Forty years ago people, in the middle-class, where still worrying about where their dinner was going to come from that night or if they were going live through the night (at 45!) or if they would make any money in the next few months.

Many people in this country, still, stair down this dark tunnel of uncertainty today. But the numbers are not the same. People are starting to believe, more and more, that because they have reached a certain level in our higher education systems that are owed something. They will be immediately successful when they leave there last place of higher education and move into the business world. Sadly, this is more a truth then people want to believe.

Pulling it back together a little bit. Everyone judges success differently. Everyone’s value of money is relative; you might feel that $1,000 a week gross is great while your next-door neighbor might think that is $400 too little.

A few things I believe are that money might not buy you happiness but it might give you the ability to pay for things that give you more peace and freedoms. Judging people is wrong unless it keeps you from getting screwed. Paying attention to detail is of utmost importance until you can’t make a profit because you’re stumbling over your own paperwork. The analogy of “monkey tree” has changed a bit. When you looked up all you saw were asses. Now you see the asses but they are sleeping.

Most importantly, success should not be measured by one’s title, degrees, certifications, world experiences or grammatical abilities but rather the quality of their work and their life and caliber of their friends.